Advice for the lyrics i wrote?

kind of generic, and people will definitely recognize the tool ripoff in the chorus from 'sober'... try being more drastic in your style, and have more free form than verse/chorus/verse/chorus....although this may depend on your band members...actually rereading it all before posting my answer i notice a few more tool ripoffs in the lyrics..listen to 'sober', keep your ideas, remove anything that sounds like sober and try again...